Fault And Heartache
by Flowerfaires
Summary: 'It's my fault. All of what happened between yesterday and today is my fault. I don't care what anybody says it's my fault...' SPOILERS 3x09


**Based on 3x09 'Out Of Time' HEAVY SPOILERS only read if you have watched the episode!**

**Disclaimer - I own nothing.**

Fault and Heartache

Andy's POV

It's my fault. All of what happened between yesterday and today is my fault. I don't care what anybody says it's my fault and I know deep down other people realise this or soon will realise this even if they are not willing to accept it.

Today one of our own died. Jerry Barber, detective, friend, my partners' best friend and my best friends' fiance. Because of **me** he is gone and everyone who cared about him have lost him.

You may say it's not my fault but it is, just look at the facts.

Fact one, my roomate for the moment was attacked in **my **apartment. I came home to see her on the wooden floor with blood drying up on her face pale face. As I went to help her, find out what had happened I was grabbed from behind and injected which left me as a heap on **my **own floor.

As I woke up to the sound of my phone as I remembered last night I realised what had happened and got the rest of my division here within in minutes. If I had fought harder Gail wouldn't have been taken and her attacker would of been in bars by now. That didn't happen though did it? **I **didn't react quick enough which resulted in her being abducted.

Fact two, if **I** had followed proper procedue **I **would have checked the apartment first made sure every room was safe and secure but **I **didn't. If I had of done I may of been able to catch the man that did this. I didn't follow procedue though I went straight to my friend without even thinking it through. That was my **first** mistake, the mistake that started it all. That one mistake that cost a life and very nearly cost another.

Fact three, as we got closer to narrowing down the suspects I was sure it was the bar tender. Sam went with me to check it out whilst we left Jerry to check out the cab driver who he had been suspicious of.

During our journey we made the connection and were on our way to help Jerry, we even tried to beat him there after all there was two of us and only one of him.

Once there we went into the room to see him there laying on the concrete floor with blood flowing out of him. My cop instincts kicked in I got paramedics on the way whilst Sam applied pressure to the wound that wouldn't stop bleeding.

If I had of listened to Jerry in the first place he wouldn't of been laying there stabbed. He would of been fine with me and Sam there able to stop the man before he plunged his knife into him and we would of been able to rescue Gail at the same time. That didn't happen though. By then the man had gone, Gail with him.

If it wasn't for Jerry we would of never found her somehow he had got his phone into Gail's abducters pocket which led the rest of our team to find her and bring her home safely. It's funny isn't it ever since Jerry got that phone he had been having problems with it always complaining to someone about it, in the end it was his phone that saved Gail from dying, that phone made the difference of only one officer dying instead of two.

Now hear I am in the middle of a hospital telling my best friend the worst news of her entire life, bringing misery and heartache to her just like that. My job is to bring justice and help people not bring heartache and especially not to the people I see as family.

As she breaks down into me I can't help my own tears falling down my cheeks mixing in with hers, with Sam behind us frozen in time looking at the pocket watch Jerry had given him as a best man present. The clock ticks away telling us how many minutes, seconds have past since Detective Jerry Barber was pronounced dead.

Because of **me** I have allowed heartbreak to overtake my friends and my division. You have seen the facts and so have I. It is only a matter of time before the others do to. Maybe it's best for me to go and leave those who I count as family, then maybe I would not cause anymore pain to them, maybe it's time for a fresh start.

If I had fought harder Gail wouldn't have been taken and her attacker would of been in bars by now. If I had fought harder Jerry would still be alive and would be planning his wedding, that's not how it goes though, does it?

In the end we were just out of time...

The End

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